I believe that we are all psychic to some degree and most people have a memory or two or more whether they have shared them with anyone else or not. For example, we think of someone and the phone rings. As a matter of fact just a few minutes ago I was thinking about my friend Arielle in Indianapolis, IN. I was about to pick up the cell phone and call her when I got my little bell ring on my computer that announces incoming mail. I had an email from her. I believe that this kind of telepathic communication happens far more frequently than we realize.
The more I think about it and probe into my memories and subconscious mind, the more I realize that I have always been psychic and capable of tuning into the spirit vicinity. When I was doing my psychic development training with my teacher Mary many years ago, she told me that part of my training would be to teach myself to go into a kind of hypnotic changed state and be able to ingemination some of my early psychic experiences. I can nevertheless ingemination her words: “Michael, because you already have some experience with hypnosis, you would make an excellent subject and be able to go into thorough levels of trance. But it’s not really necessary. You can truly meditate and put yourself in a kind of trance to retrieve any information that you want access to. I can coach you to get you started.” I found the idea intriguing and fondly recalled the stage hypnosis demonstration I witnessed in high school and being put under by the mentalist “The Amazing Kreskin” the summer of my freshman college year and in music therapy class and by my girlfriend Martina.
Everything that Mary said turned out to be true. I did teach myself to go into hypnotic states of mind where I could ingemination vivid childhood (and later past life) memories. There is one memory I can ingemination as vividly as though it was taking place now. It was when I was learning to talk. Some of the first words that came from my lips were not mama or dadda, but ‘feny faces’. It took awhile for me to catch on to precisely pronouncing words but what I was trying to say was ‘friendly faces.’ I would look up and see these different spirit faces that would all be smiling and waving to me. I’d laugh and point my fingers in the air and repeat ‘Feny faces. Feny faces.’ “Who are you talking to” my mother would ask? laughing. “Do you have an imaginary friend?” She thought it was amusing although I don’t think she ever figured out that her little boy was seeing and trying to talk to spirits that nobody else could see.
Those early carefree times were permanent. My father would make fun of me and tell me to stop acting so stupid. So for a long time my ‘feny faces’ disappeared and I did not talk about them anymore. I would think about them sometimes and miss them but they had left. On a soul level I may have asked them to leave being fearful of what my father might say or do. He was extremely volatile and had a temper. My father had his first nervous breakdown when I was three. I ingemination mom running out the door screaming, “he is going to kill me, he is going to kill me.” He flipped out and had a pistol and was screaming and threatening to kill her. He spent the next six weeks at “Our Lady of Peace” mental hospital in Louisville, KY. Dad flipped out many more times over the years and would use more time in the “loony house” as my younger brother calls mental hospitals. I never told anybody about my ‘feny faces’ but I never forgot them.
To get away from the turmoil and continued drinking and fighting at home I got involved with a local Baptist Church when I was eleven years old. I had a hunger and insatiable curiosity for spiritual knowledge already back then. About a year later an eccentric woman began coming to the Sunday morning sets. Her name was Pansy Parker. She had greasy straggly gray hair and her clothes were tattered. She would often offer a testimonial and sometimes her head and body would shake. It was hard to make out some of her words. Some of the church ladies would whisper amongst themselves and several times I heard this or that one say, “There goes that Pansy Parker again. She’s just a strange crazy old woman who babbles on about nothing.” Pansy would ignore them but she would always make it a point to turn her gaze in my direction. I would get goose bumps and shivers then look away, embarrassed.
When we would have the ‘hand shaking’ part of the service, Pansy always made it a point to keep up my hand a little longer than usual and she would look deeply into my eyes. My heart would begin to flutter and my knees would shake. My confront turned red as a beet. One Sunday during the ‘hand shaking’ part of the service, a lady shouted “Praise the Lord” and began speaking in tongues. The people were spellbound because this almost never happened at our church. I remember that Pansy took my hand as usual and she motioned for me to step back a few feet. Then she reached into her pocket and took out something. She moved closer to my confront and in a soft voice she spoke:
“Michael, God has given you many talents.” Then she pointed to her head. “Voices have spoken to you and you have seen spirit faces. You must never be afraid of ashamed of this gift. You will see spirit faces and talk to them again. Be very careful who you speak about this to, for they will not understand you. They will think you funny in the head like Pansy be,” she said, smiling. “You need to know that God and his angels always watch over you in hard times ahead. God have children all over the cosmos and they not all look like we humans do. Some be much more progressive and spiritual than people down here. They know you look at stars a lot. This because you be a star child. Jesus said in my father’s house be many mansions.
“Your true origin is far from here as is mine and some other people you will meet in the future. You gonna meet some sky people in the future. God and Spirit also gonna show you things; give you visions and show you things about people. Things that will help them. Nothing bad, but good things to help them feel close to God and the angels and to know that they are not alone and there is help for them. You are going to help a lot of people with your gifts.” Then Pansy let go of my hand. She had placed a ten dollar bill in it. I was flabbergasted. I nodded and tried to give it back but she whispered “No, this be token sign that God and angels always take care of you. And you remember Pansy when you hear from sky people.”
Needless to say I was quite taken aback and flabbergasted. What made me sad is that there was no one I felt who would understand what Pansy had said. I was not already sure that I did. And how did she know that I had seen spirit faces? I had confined that out and forgotten those early memories.
That experience in church sent my mind to reeling and I had questions I wanted to ask Pansy. I would already write them down and hide my notebook in my dresser drawer. I would try to think how I could manage to get a few moments with Pansy without arousing suspicion among the parishioners. That was never an issue because Pansy Parker never returned to my church after that little talk with me. I kept the ten dollar bill for a long time to remind me that I was not losing my mind nor making up the experience with Pansy.
Looking back so many years later I surprise if Pansy Parker might have been an angel who came to my church those few times. Had she come there specifically to deliver that message of hope to me? Because once she delivered her message she never returned? Perhaps I shall never know. But one thing is for certain. I know that I shall always remember her fondly and I often give gratitude for the gift of hope that she gave me. That remembrance would come in handy and help get me by some very difficult times.